Realization, or What my Subconscious Has Been Trying to Tell Me All This Time

Realization Today, on the way home from lunch, I saw a sign with the name of one of the prolific developers here in Stockton. That reminded me of the volleyball class that I was in, thirty years ago, and remember mention of pick-up games in Grupe Park. I was ignored when I asked about joining the fun, and this triggered a massive realization (actually an epiphany) of some very brutal truth. At work, I was a "loner", with people taking advantage of the knowledge that I have no sense of smell, by gaslighting the "fact" that I reeked with body odor. This fallacy was revealed when both my mother and one of my brothers told me that I never did produce a bad musk all this time. This gave me relief as well as that sense of sadness that people, in different circles, lied to me to "protect my feelings" when shunned. The "mock musk" was the one known "excuse" for people shying away from me. Being tall, large, and autistic seems to trigger an unco...